Semper Gratus!

Be Grateful You’re an American!

September 3, 2008

Fred’s Had Enough!

by @ 1:09 pm. Filed under McCain Sucks!, Politics, teh Funny

HOORAY!!!!! I was hoping against hope that something like this would happen, I just thought it would happen a little sooner.

I got this email blast today from Fred Thompson:

Dear Friend,

The challenges America faces may appear overwhelming. But you and I both know that if we adhere to the founding principles of individual liberty, federalism, and truly limited government, there is no obstacle the American people cannot overcome.

But the forces driving our country away from those First Principles are strong. They demand an ever-increasing growth in government, higher and higher taxes, and a judiciary that makes law and social policy instead of sticking to the wisdom of the Constitution.

It’s clear that we need men and women in Washington and in the statehouses across America who believe, as we do, in the fundamental principles of limited government restricted by enumerated powers.

That is why I am announcing the takeover of the Republican party – I am returning the party to the principles that are the only sure salvation for America. Tonight, I will announce that I, and not John McAmnesty, will be the Republican nominee for President! The only thing John has done right in the past decade has been to pick Gov. Sarah Baracuda to be his running mate. This will not change with me. Sarah and I will be hunting RINOs together, soon.

Please visit our website at www.FredPAC.com. Learn how you can help.

Your support and assistance has meant a great deal to me and my family as we defended America ’s First Principles and defeat the asshole whiner RINOs who now control the party. I know that in the days ahead we will continue in the fight for a strong, free, secure America … together.

Thank you for all you do.

Sincerely,

The Cobra

Or maybe I just read a little more into it than was actually there. Let me know if any of you got this email and read between the lines…

August 30, 2008

VP Palin’s Flying Circus

by @ 3:51 pm. Filed under McCain Sucks!, Politics, teh Funny

I just LOVE McPain’s pick for VEEP! I think the selection of Gov. Palin was an inspiration and its certainly gotten the “base” all excited. For good reasons, too! Just look at the extended family:

Sarah was taught her love of firearms by Cousin Smedly Palin, the famed big game hunter. Smedly Palin’s exploits on the African veld are the stuff myths are made of! Here he is shown with the trophies of his most recent safari into the Amazon.

Sarah’s family includes some European royalty! Sir Sagimore Palin, shown to the right of dear family friend Arthur Pendragon above, is sure to be an asset in our attempts to regain our image over seas. He’s just a whiz making “clip-clop” noises with coconut shells.

Cousin ‘Nit’ may prove to be a problem. His love of Billy Beer and popping up at inappropriate times may be an embarrassment to the campaign.

——————–

This post is just in fun. I really am happy about the selection of Sarah Palin to be the VP candidate. I like her A LOT!

July 28, 2007

duck, … duck, … duck … GOOSE!

by @ 8:56 pm. Filed under teh Funny

It time to play Tag! You’re IT!

conretebob has done me the honor (hack!) of including me in a wee game of “spill your guts and pass it on“. So, without further ado…

1. I once saw Nazereth and Blue Oyster Cult at the Alexandria Roller Rink.

2. My first car was a ’72 Grand Torino Sport with a 351 Cleveland. It could skoooot!

3. I’d love to one day jump out of an airplane.

4. I’ve raced at Summit Point (West “By God” Virginia), Virginia International Speedway, Lowe’s Motor Speedway, Atlanta Motor Speedway, Road Atlanta, Rockingham, Mid Ohio, and on the high banks of Daytona.

5. I have a great bunch of friends affectionately known as the Church Ladies!

6. I don’t like writing about myself like this….

June 4, 2007

Fun with Political Contributions

by @ 9:47 pm. Filed under Politics, teh Funny

FReeper BufordP has come up with a witty and flexible form you can use to “send a message” to the RNC.

Given the Senate is threatening to give away the farm this week, I decided I had to do something. Sure I could call my Senators (Jim Webb and John Warner [choke, gag]) on the phone and harp. I could stand outside the Whitehouse, RNC HQ, or the Capitol – alone or with just a few from the DC Chapter and picket. Or, I could create something that a large number of people might be interested in putting to good use. Even those who might otherwise not bother with corresponding with their legislators.

So I scanned one of the many RNC solicitations I’ve recieved in the mail so I could dress it up and make it say what I’m really thinking. Not one of their bogus canned responses.

But that’s not all. Make it so you can edit it.

What you see below is a sample letter I created.

Try creating your own. You’ll be able to edit the TO:, FROM:, SALUTATION, MESSAGE, and the QUOTE coming out of President Bush’s mouth. You’ll see “El Presidente Jorge Bush” highlighted. Type in something else. Press the key to move to next field or just press your mouse button over the various fields.

Once you’re satisfied print it off along with the self addressed envelope.

Que?

So, go ahead and have fun! Thanks BufordP!

If you really want to send something that looks like money with your response, you might print out a few of these “Bush Pesos”. I found what may be the original on Hot Air, thanks to another FReeper, Tolerance Sucks Rocks.

Nada Peso, si!

April 12, 2007

Why aren’t the Revs. Sharpton and Jackson invading Britain?

by @ 1:40 pm. Filed under Politics, teh Funny, True Heroes

Newsbusters report “BBC Cancels TV Movie On Iraq War Hero As ‘Too Positive’ “, by Lynn Davidson.

pvt beharry

…the project that would have honored the incredible bravery and resilience of Private Johnson Beharry, a man who didn’t hesitate to risk his own life two separate times for his fellow soldiers. His Victoria Cross citation reads like a blockbuster Hollywood action script, but instead, it’s the real deal. Sounds uplifting and encouraging, and it could even be a real morale booster, right? Well, for the Beeb, that’s the problem.

The BBC also ran a story about PM Tony Blair specifically targeting black communities for perpetuating knife and gun violence.

“The black community – the vast majority of whom in these communities are decent, law-abiding people horrified at what is happening – need to be mobilised in denunciation of this gang culture that is killing innocent young black kids,” said MR Blair.

These two stories should have been juicy enough to have both “Reverends” booking redeye flights to London so that they could denounce both the BBC and the Prime Minister as racially bigoted and hate mongering. I can just hear the two of them calling for boycotts, firings, heads to roll, etc., all the while pimping for ‘pounds’ (British $ for you dumb cracker rednecks)
(I hope no one was offended by that last parenthetical remark)
(Paranthetical means between parentheses, i.e. (), you right-wing knuckledragging ‘tards)
(by ‘knuckledragging’ I mean that you would be recognizeable as an australopithecine more easily than a homo sapien)
(NO you retard — I did NOT just call you a ‘homo’!)

*cricket* *cricket*

Where the heck was I going with this? … OH YEAH! This is a case for

The Right Reverend BIG BRO JIM I

Haaaaa-lelujah! Haaaaa-lelujah! halelujah-halelujah-halelujah, haleeeeeeluuuuuujaaaaaa!

March 26, 2007

If He’s OK with FrankJ, He’s My Guy, Too!

by @ 1:41 pm. Filed under Politics, teh Funny

I liked Fred Thompson long before I knew all the facts. I also knew that Sen. Thompson was serious about making a Presidential bid in ’08 when I heard him doing Paul Harvey’s show. Mr. Harvey was only supposed to be gone for a day or two at most, but Sen. Thompson has been on for nearly a month now. Hmmmm, it must have been “the stare” that convinced Harvey’s peeps to let Fred have as long as he wanted….

Meaner than Chuck Norris!

Anyway, FrankJ has brought to light the most wonderful of tidbits about Mr. Thompson that should make him a shoe-in for the Republican nomination. For instance, did you know:

That last one is sure to get the jimmy b and fmragtops votes!

He’s also got the folks over at Hot Air floating in a deep sea of red.

January 19, 2007

Friday Funny

by @ 2:30 pm. Filed under teh Funny

TweetiePie sends “This one will touch your heart!”

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is named after a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”

Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

Osama Bin Laden,” she says.

“Why Osama Bin Laden?”, her father asks in shock.

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. “Melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” Melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can kill the sonofabitch.”

US and Corps.bmp

October 26, 2006

Thursday Funny

by @ 1:28 pm. Filed under Politics, teh Funny

TweetiePie sends:

Memorable Quotes from The Ghost Breakers (1940)

Ghost Breakers Movie Poster

Geoff Montgomery: It’s worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.

Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?

——————————

Extra Credit: Go over to Insolublog‘s place and see the video.

September 28, 2006

Dueling in Trollville

by @ 10:21 pm. Filed under teh Funny

My new pal George Markam has another personality with the name Ross Mayhew. As Ross, he’s been leaving comments on older posts that no one is going to read, so I thought I would do him a favor and put them on the front page.

These are three of the posts and his words of wisdom for each.

Burn in Hell, Zarqawi
“Bring em on. YOu guys are such an inspiration. In a few more years we will all be broke and you can roam around this country like road warriors. Vengeance…at least learn to spell.”

I don’t know, George/Ross. I’ve looked it up several times in various dictionaries and they all spell it the same: D-I-C-K-H-E-A-D.

Pinkos Get a Dose of Reality
“Step up boys Bush and Rummy need more of your money and will like you to stay perpetual soldiers. Draft Jenna and Barb. Step up too to fund the cost of medical bills all the wounded…mentally and psychologically…the boys who have so effectively lead you sheep down the rosy path sure won’t be around to cover collateral damage. But you know that anyway…right?”

Supporters don’t stop supporting the troops just because the Administration changes. Most people don’t see this kind of generosity as a partisan issue, Ross/George.

Friday Night Fights at WR
“Bush doesn’t know, or isn’t admitting, that this Iraq war is a collosal failure on all fronts. Hope the rest of the country wakes up in the following elections.”

No worries George/Ross. I think you’ll really like the next occupant of the Oval Office

fmragtops in 08!

August 30, 2006

Subject: History of the Middle Finger

by @ 12:45 pm. Filed under teh Funny

Brought to you by TweetiePie

Well, now… here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too,will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waiving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as “giving the bird.”

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
—————————–

la·bi·o·den·tal; adj.; Articulated with the lower lip and upper teeth, as the sounds (f) and (v).
fric·a·tive; n.; A consonant, such as f or s in English, produced by the forcing of breath through a constricted passage. Also called spirant.

I look ’em up so you don’t have to!

Dog Pack Kills Alligator In Florida

by @ 12:28 pm. Filed under teh Funny

Brought to you by Donna, Los Osos

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the ‘apex predator’ in its natural eco-system, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy, made possible by the tight knit social structure and ‘survival of the fittest pack mentality’ bred into canines over the last thousands of years by natural selection.

See the remarkable photograph below, courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while the remainder of the pack prevents the beast from rolling.

Beware! This is not for the squeamish!
(more…)

August 24, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Pluto Demoted!!!

by @ 11:07 am. Filed under teh Funny

Walt Disney is rolling over in his grave right now. It has been determined that his adorable pooch is in actuality a – *gasp* – DWARF PLANET!

pluto1.jpg


This is undoubtedly the work of some AP or CNN stringer reporting “live” from Uranus. Bah!

Uranus is also a very funny word!

August 23, 2006

My newest favorite word

by @ 9:09 pm. Filed under teh Funny

Befuckled

I first saw it here over at Capt. Z’s and laughed myself silly. (Google the word and Chuck comes up first on the list!)

Then Sgt. Allen uses it when describing a fat obnoxious beotch and I start laughing all over again.

From Urban Dictionary:

Befuckled

August 14, 2006

Mirth at Murtha’s Expense

by @ 10:09 am. Filed under teh Funny, Troop Support

Heh. Check out the latest from BootMurtha.comMurthaHist.gif

See this FreeRepublic comment that has every link known to man concerning the “Pendleton 8” Marines. It’s in a very cool thread about Kilo Co. homecoming.

August 9, 2006

Wednesday Funnies

by @ 2:38 pm. Filed under teh Funny

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS – from TweetyPie
————–

Winston


Once again, pics aren’t showing up in IE. *sigh*

[powered by WordPress.]

Support n. To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer).

junkie n. Slang One who has an insatiable interest or devotion.

AnySoldier.com proper name. A site where Support Junkies get their fix.

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Changing the world, starting with Kosovo

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