Semper Gratus!

It time to play Tag! You’re IT!

conretebob has done me the honor (hack!) of including me in a wee game of “spill your guts and pass it on“. So, without further ado…

1. I once saw Nazereth and Blue Oyster Cult at the Alexandria Roller Rink.

2. My first car was a ‘72 Grand Torino Sport with a 351 Cleveland. It could skoooot!

3. I’d love to one day jump out of an airplane.

4. I’ve raced at Summit Point (West “By God” Virginia), Virginia International Speedway, Lowe’s Motor Speedway, Atlanta Motor Speedway, Road Atlanta, Rockingham, Mid Ohio, and on the high banks of Daytona.

5. I have a great bunch of friends affectionately known as the Church Ladies!

6. I don’t like writing about myself like this….

FReeper BufordP has come up with a witty and flexible form you can use to “send a message” to the RNC.

Given the Senate is threatening to give away the farm this week, I decided I had to do something. Sure I could call my Senators (Jim Webb and John Warner [choke, gag]) on the phone and harp. I could stand outside the Whitehouse, RNC HQ, or the Capitol - alone or with just a few from the DC Chapter and picket. Or, I could create something that a large number of people might be interested in putting to good use. Even those who might otherwise not bother with corresponding with their legislators.

So I scanned one of the many RNC solicitations I’ve recieved in the mail so I could dress it up and make it say what I’m really thinking. Not one of their bogus canned responses.

But that’s not all. Make it so you can edit it.

What you see below is a sample letter I created.

Try creating your own. You’ll be able to edit the TO:, FROM:, SALUTATION, MESSAGE, and the QUOTE coming out of President Bush’s mouth. You’ll see “El Presidente Jorge Bush” highlighted. Type in something else. Press the key to move to next field or just press your mouse button over the various fields.

Once you’re satisfied print it off along with the self addressed envelope.

So, go ahead and have fun! Thanks BufordP!

If you really want to send something that looks like money with your response, you might print out a few of these “Bush Pesos”. I found what may be the original on Hot Air, thanks to another FReeper, Tolerance Sucks Rocks.

Newsbusters report “BBC Cancels TV Movie On Iraq War Hero As ‘Too Positive’ “, by Lynn Davidson.

…the project that would have honored the incredible bravery and resilience of Private Johnson Beharry, a man who didn’t hesitate to risk his own life two separate times for his fellow soldiers. His Victoria Cross citation reads like a blockbuster Hollywood action script, but instead, it’s the real deal. Sounds uplifting and encouraging, and it could even be a real morale booster, right? Well, for the Beeb, that’s the problem.

The BBC also ran a story about PM Tony Blair specifically targeting black communities for perpetuating knife and gun violence.

“The black community - the vast majority of whom in these communities are decent, law-abiding people horrified at what is happening - need to be mobilised in denunciation of this gang culture that is killing innocent young black kids,” said MR Blair.

These two stories should have been juicy enough to have both “Reverends” booking redeye flights to London so that they could denounce both the BBC and the Prime Minister as racially bigoted and hate mongering. I can just hear the two of them calling for boycotts, firings, heads to roll, etc., all the while pimping for ‘pounds’ (British $ for you dumb cracker rednecks)
(I hope no one was offended by that last parenthetical remark)
(Paranthetical means between parentheses, i.e. (), you right-wing knuckledragging ‘tards)
(by ‘knuckledragging’ I mean that you would be recognizeable as an australopithecine more easily than a homo sapien)
(NO you retard — I did NOT just call you a ‘homo’!)

*cricket* *cricket*

Where the heck was I going with this? … OH YEAH! This is a case for

The Right Reverend BIG BRO JIM I

Haaaaa-lelujah! Haaaaa-lelujah! halelujah-halelujah-halelujah, haleeeeeeluuuuuujaaaaaa!

I liked Fred Thompson long before I knew all the facts. I also knew that Sen. Thompson was serious about making a Presidential bid in ‘08 when I heard him doing Paul Harvey’s show. Mr. Harvey was only supposed to be gone for a day or two at most, but Sen. Thompson has been on for nearly a month now. Hmmmm, it must have been “the stare” that convinced Harvey’s peeps to let Fred have as long as he wanted….

Anyway, FrankJ has brought to light the most wonderful of tidbits about Mr. Thompson that should make him a shoe-in for the Republican nomination. For instance, did you know:

• Fred Thompson reconsidered running for reelection after 9/11 but later decided to handle things on his own. He was soon seen entering the Middle East with a bottle of tequila in one hand an a handgun in the other. They’re still counting the dead.
• Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn’t stopped wetting his pants.
• Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.
• Fred Thompson took over what was Al Gore’s Senate seat, thereby dramatically reducing the Senate’s carbon footprint. Fred Thompson then created carbon offset offsets by wastefully burning hippies.

That last one is sure to get the jimmy b and fmragtops votes!

He’s also got the folks over at Hot Air floating in a deep sea of red.

TweetiePie sends “This one will touch your heart!”

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is named after a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”

Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

Osama Bin Laden,” she says.

“Why Osama Bin Laden?”, her father asks in shock.

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. “Melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” Melissa says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can kill the sonofabitch.”

TweetiePie sends:

Memorable Quotes from The Ghost Breakers (1940)

Geoff Montgomery: It’s worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.

Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?

——————————

Extra Credit: Go over to Insolublog’s place and see the video.

My new pal George Markam has another personality with the name Ross Mayhew. As Ross, he’s been leaving comments on older posts that no one is going to read, so I thought I would do him a favor and put them on the front page.

These are three of the posts and his words of wisdom for each.

Burn in Hell, Zarqawi
“Bring em on. YOu guys are such an inspiration. In a few more years we will all be broke and you can roam around this country like road warriors. Vengeance…at least learn to spell.”

I don’t know, George/Ross. I’ve looked it up several times in various dictionaries and they all spell it the same: D-I-C-K-H-E-A-D.

Pinkos Get a Dose of Reality
“Step up boys Bush and Rummy need more of your money and will like you to stay perpetual soldiers. Draft Jenna and Barb. Step up too to fund the cost of medical bills all the wounded…mentally and psychologically…the boys who have so effectively lead you sheep down the rosy path sure won’t be around to cover collateral damage. But you know that anyway…right?”

Supporters don’t stop supporting the troops just because the Administration changes. Most people don’t see this kind of generosity as a partisan issue, Ross/George.

Friday Night Fights at WR
“Bush doesn’t know, or isn’t admitting, that this Iraq war is a collosal failure on all fronts. Hope the rest of the country wakes up in the following elections.”

No worries George/Ross. I think you’ll really like the next occupant of the Oval Office

Brought to you by TweetiePie

Well, now… here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too,will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waiving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as “giving the bird.”

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
—————————–

la·bi·o·den·tal; adj.; Articulated with the lower lip and upper teeth, as the sounds (f) and (v).
fric·a·tive; n.; A consonant, such as f or s in English, produced by the forcing of breath through a constricted passage. Also called spirant.

I look ‘em up so you don’t have to!

Brought to you by Donna, Los Osos

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the ‘apex predator’ in its natural eco-system, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy, made possible by the tight knit social structure and ’survival of the fittest pack mentality’ bred into canines over the last thousands of years by natural selection.

See the remarkable photograph below, courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while the remainder of the pack prevents the beast from rolling.

Beware! This is not for the squeamish!
(more…)

Walt Disney is rolling over in his grave right now. It has been determined that his adorable pooch is in actuality a - *gasp* - DWARF PLANET!

This is undoubtedly the work of some AP or CNN stringer reporting “live” from Uranus. Bah!

Uranus is also a very funny word!

Befuckled

I first saw it here over at Capt. Z’s and laughed myself silly. (Google the word and Chuck comes up first on the list!)

Then Sgt. Allen uses it when describing a fat obnoxious beotch and I start laughing all over again.

From Urban Dictionary:

Befuckled

• 1. Commonly used in military HQ’s, charachterized by extreme confusion, and genuine, profound disorientation. Often the result of being given different and usually conflicting orders.
• 2. As above but brought about by a lack of skill or knowledge.
a. Wow that change to the briefing is going to have the staff completely Befuckled.
b. That LT has no clue about that; He’s pretty much befuckled.

• 2. Befuckled. So intensely shocked at someone’s actions that you just think “What the fuck?”
I am befuckled that he actually thought she wouldn’t find out

Heh. Check out the latest from BootMurtha.com

See this FreeRepublic comment that has every link known to man concerning the “Pendleton 8″ Marines. It’s in a very cool thread about Kilo Co. homecoming.

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS - from TweetyPie
————–

• “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
  -Winston Churchill
• “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
  - Winston Churchill
• “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend…if you have one.”
  - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
• “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
  - Winston Churchill, in reply




• “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
  - Clarence Darrow



• “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
  - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)



• “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
  - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
• “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
  - Moses Hadas
• “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
  - Abraham Lincoln
• “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
  - Mark Twain
• “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
  - Oscar Wilde



• “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
  - Groucho Marx

Once again, pics aren’t showing up in IE. *sigh*

Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jack
A fat EX-Marine who tried to give the Corps a whack
And then one day he was slandering the Troops
When up popped a voice that said “Man, you’re gettin’ sued”

Court, that is
Libel time
Civil Suit

Now, old Jack got scared that his bluff was being called
He wandered ’round The Hill asking “Hey, you seen my balls?”
Then he got a bright idea to divert the vulture press
And he boarded the next flight to the Cuban fortress

Gitmo, that is
terrorists
bad guys

Well the next thing you know old Jackie’s in the air
His handlers said “Jack, get your ass down there!”
“And find some guards who are peein’ on Korans”
“Then come on back up here and blame the ‘Publicans”

Nazis, that is
Pol Pot
Gulags



When Jack touched down on lovely Gitmo Bay
He rolled out the plane sayin’ “Man, this place is gay!”
Reverend Phelps asked “Jack, are you into S&M?”
“Forget about the jail, drop your pants and come on in!”

Chains, that is
leather thongs
gay bars

Soon the news got out that the Congressman was lost
The guards began a search fearin’ Jackie had got sauced
They found him on the beach wearin’ nothing but a grin
So they hauled him off to jail, took his drink and booked him in

jumpsuits, that is
chain link fences
Club Med

Now the moral of this story is Do Not Trust Jack
A fat EX-Marine who thinks the Code is just some smack
He wants all your dough so he can tell you what to do
When he opens his big mouth, what comes out is giant poo

Turds, that is
stinky stuff
log style

Ya’ll come back now, y’hear!

TweetiePie sends “teh funny” for today.

Texas Razorback Hogs

As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says: “Nice pigs, sir.”

The President replies: “These are not pigs, these are authentic Texas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Representative Jack Murtha, and I got one for Senator John Kerry.”

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes and says, “Nice trade, sir.”

Old Dominion Ghosts

When Abu al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!” James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled “It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”

The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

Help boot the bastard! Go here.