Semper Gratus!

Be Grateful You’re an American!

August 3, 2006

The Beverly Murtha

by @ 12:20 am. Filed under teh Funny, Vengeance!

Semper I
Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jack
A fat EX-Marine who tried to give the Corps a whack
And then one day he was slandering the Troops
When up popped a voice that said “Man, you’re gettin’ sued

Court, that is
Libel time
Civil Suit

Now, old Jack got scared that his bluff was being called
He wandered ’round The Hill asking “Hey, you seen my balls?”
Then he got a bright idea to divert the vulture press
And he boarded the next flight to the Cuban fortress

Gitmo, that is
bad guys
Flying Down to Cuber
Well the next thing you know old Jackie’s in the air
His handlers said “Jack, get your ass down there!”
“And find some guards who are peein’ on Korans”
“Then come on back up here and blame the ‘Publicans”

Nazis, that is
Pol Pot

Phelps Beach Blanket Queero
When Jack touched down on lovely Gitmo Bay
He rolled out the plane sayin’ “Man, this place is gay!”
Reverend Phelps asked “Jack, are you into S&M?”
“Forget about the jail, drop your pants and come on in!”

Chains, that is
leather thongs
gay bars

guantanamo-jack.jpgSoon the news got out that the Congressman was lost
The guards began a search fearin’ Jackie had got sauced
They found him on the beach wearin’ nothing but a grin
So they hauled him off to jail, took his drink and booked him in

jumpsuits, that is
chain link fences
Club Med

Now the moral of this story is Do Not Trust Jack
A fat EX-Marine who thinks the Code is just some smack
He wants all your dough so he can tell you what to do
When he opens his big mouth, what comes out is giant poo

Turds, that is
stinky stuff
log style

Ya’ll come back now, y’hear!

11 Responses to “The Beverly Murtha”

  1. Leo Pusateri Says:

    Great job!

  2. SK Says:

    Absolutely PRICELESS!!!! LOL Can I steal this and send it to Hubby? Pleeeeeaaase?

  3. Mary*Ann Says:

    OMG, GN….I’ll be laughing all day!

  4. Laura, Marine mom from Ohio Says:

    I always did love that Beverly Hillbillies theme song. This is hilarious!

  5. GunnNutt Says:

    Thanks, Leo – and for the linky-love!

    SK – You can swipe my stuff anytime 🙂

    Mary*Ann & Laura – I’m glad you got a laugh out of it!

  6. Sssteve Says:

    GN, that was frakken hilarious!! Good stuff!! Man that was funny!

  7. SK Says:

    Thanks GN, you’re a doll:)

  8. Donna, Los Osos, CA Says:

    My admiration for your writing is now at a new height! Keeps getting better and better! This is real funny Gunnutt. Need to take it on the road!


  9. jim b Says:

    A day without GunnNutt is like a day without sunshine.

    Thank God you are on our side gurl!

  10. Kat in GA - a Soldiers' Angel Says:

    This is EXCELLENT!!!!! Thanks!

  11. SK Says:

    GN…you rec’d major applause (and much laughter) from Hubby and his co-workers in San Fran! I think they’re trying to memorize the new lyrics:)

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