The Beverly Murtha
Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jack
A fat EX-Marine who tried to give the Corps a whack
And then one day he was slandering the Troops
When up popped a voice that said “Man, you’re gettin’ sued”
Court, that is
Libel time
Civil Suit
Now, old Jack got scared that his bluff was being called
He wandered ’round The Hill asking “Hey, you seen my balls?”
Then he got a bright idea to divert the vulture press
And he boarded the next flight to the Cuban fortress
Gitmo, that is
terrorists
bad guys
Well the next thing you know old Jackie’s in the air
His handlers said “Jack, get your ass down there!”
“And find some guards who are peein’ on Korans”
“Then come on back up here and blame the ‘Publicans”
Nazis, that is
Pol Pot
Gulags
When Jack touched down on lovely Gitmo Bay
He rolled out the plane sayin’ “Man, this place is gay!”
Reverend Phelps asked “Jack, are you into S&M?”
“Forget about the jail, drop your pants and come on in!”
Chains, that is
leather thongs
gay bars
Soon the news got out that the Congressman was lost
The guards began a search fearin’ Jackie had got sauced
They found him on the beach wearin’ nothing but a grin
So they hauled him off to jail, took his drink and booked him in
jumpsuits, that is
chain link fences
Club Med
Now the moral of this story is Do Not Trust Jack
A fat EX-Marine who thinks the Code is just some smack
He wants all your dough so he can tell you what to do
When he opens his big mouth, what comes out is giant poo
Turds, that is
stinky stuff
log style
Ya’ll come back now, y’hear!
August 3rd, 2006 at 12:38 am
Great job!
August 3rd, 2006 at 6:43 am
Absolutely PRICELESS!!!! LOL Can I steal this and send it to Hubby? Pleeeeeaaase?
August 3rd, 2006 at 7:47 am
OMG, GN….I’ll be laughing all day!
August 3rd, 2006 at 9:23 am
I always did love that Beverly Hillbillies theme song. This is hilarious!
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:12 am
Thanks, Leo – and for the linky-love!
SK – You can swipe my stuff anytime
Mary*Ann & Laura – I’m glad you got a laugh out of it!
August 3rd, 2006 at 11:57 am
GN, that was frakken hilarious!! Good stuff!! Man that was funny!
August 3rd, 2006 at 12:16 pm
Thanks GN, you’re a doll:)
August 3rd, 2006 at 12:28 pm
My admiration for your writing is now at a new height! Keeps getting better and better! This is real funny Gunnutt. Need to take it on the road!
Donna
August 3rd, 2006 at 8:46 pm
A day without GunnNutt is like a day without sunshine.
Thank God you are on our side gurl!
August 5th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
This is EXCELLENT!!!!! Thanks!
August 6th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
GN…you rec’d major applause (and much laughter) from Hubby and his co-workers in San Fran! I think they’re trying to memorize the new lyrics:)