“Chickenhawk” Humor
TweetiePie sends “teh funny” for today.
Texas Razorback Hogs
As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says: “Nice pigs, sir.”
The President replies: “These are not pigs, these are authentic Texas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Representative Jack Murtha, and I got one for Senator John Kerry.”
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes and says, “Nice trade, sir.”
Old Dominion Ghosts
When Abu al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!” James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled “It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.
As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al-Zarqawi wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”
The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”
Help boot the bastard! Go here.
June 27th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
OK, that pig joke is too cute!
Thanks!
Donna
June 27th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Remember that Irey material I took when we left Malogne House….I put the sticker next to my Mudville sticker. Don’t expect anyone around here to “get it” but it’s my stick it to Murtha comment. Oh, wait, just remembered, my District Manager is from Pa. Hmm.
June 28th, 2006 at 1:34 am
Two pigs in a poke and 72 Virginians!!!
Bwah-hahahaha!
Gotta love it, had me laughing, and then chucklin’, then laughin’ again!!!
Stealing jokes is the sincerest form of flattery. May I flatter you?!
June 28th, 2006 at 8:53 am
Those are by the far the funniest political jokes I’ve read in a long time. Great stuff!
June 28th, 2006 at 11:34 am
Donna - The joke originally referred to Ted Kennedy, but I thought the EX-Marine was more appropriate
Mary*Ann - I hope your DM is as disgusted with the turd as we are!
Fix4 - I hadn’t thought about giving Zarqawi Virginians and pigs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cpl M - Thank You!
June 28th, 2006 at 11:44 am
[...] Well, here ya go, these just made me laugh! Gunn Nutt has moved to Semper Gratus, and posted these yesterday. I asked if I could steal ‘em and post here. Without delay: 2 Pigs in a Poke As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says, “Nice pigs, sir.†[...]
June 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Hey Nutt! I posted these at my house and also over at CaliforniaConservative.org. Haven’t seen it post up at CalCon.org … sometimes my posts go up later in the afternoon.
Still laughing at these. And, the pig makes more sense for Murtha than Kennedy, doesn’t it? Kennedy would just grab a drink and then dig a pit for a Lu’au … maybe the “Swimmer” has already done this before … hmmm …
June 28th, 2006 at 11:57 am
[...] Well, here ya go, these just made me laugh! Gunn Nutt has moved to Semper Gratus, and posted these yesterday. I asked if I could steal ‘em and post here. Without delay: 2 Pigs in a Poke As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says, “Nice pigs, sir.†[...]
June 28th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Heh, came from Fix 4 RSO’s, love the jokes (heard the second one, but not the first!) Thanks for posting
June 29th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
Love the pig joke!